Fight!

"You wanted to come here!" Kat shouted, as I opened the door.

"Only to keep you from fucking Max!" said Joe.

Whoa. What the hell did I just walk into? I had to run by the bank and the post office before they closed this afternoon, so I had gone out by myself. When I came back, this is what greeted me. It stopped me dead in my tracks in the doorway. I just stared at them.

"Max! Tell him there's nothing going on between you and me!" Kat barked.

"Uh, what?"

"This idiot thinks I came here to sleep with you," she said. "Tell him we've never slept together."

"You TOLD me you thought you might have feelings for him," Joe said. "You don't drive 800 miles to visit somebody you're just friends with!"

"Well I DO!" Kat shouted.

"I'll leave you guys alone," I said, heading for my room.

"No, I'm coming with you," Kat said.

"Oh, no you're not," said Joe. He grabbed her arm above the elbow.

"What the--Let GO of me!" Kat growled. She dug the fingernails of her free hand into his wrist.

"C'mere!" he said. He gave her a pretty violent jerk. "LISTEN to me!"

There's seriously nothing going on between me and Kat, nor has there ever been. However, I wasn't about to let him handle her like that.

"Hey!" I said, and stepped up next to Kat in an attempt to get between them. Joe's actually bigger than I am, so I'm not quite sure what I was thinking. Stepping into his space took him by surprise, however, and he let go of her and stepped back.

"Stay out of this, Max. This is between me and Kat."

"This is MY house," I said. "You need to mind your manners."

Kat turned and went into my room, slamming the door behind her. Joe tried to follow, but I blocked his path. "Joe," I said, in a threatening tone. I was actually shaking where I stood, so I'm not sure how menacing I actually was. But he looked away from my door and made eye contact with me. "I don't know what's going on here, but you need to cool it," I said.

He looked away. He was really angry, but he's not usually an unreasonable guy. "Alright," he said. He took a step back, then looked around awkwardly, trying to decide what to do. He sat down on the edge of the couch, but tense as a coil and poised to spring up again at any moment.

"What the hell is going on here?" I asked.

"Doesn't concern you," he said, looking at the floor.

"Look," I said. "I don't know what you're thinking, but Kat and I are just friends."

"I said, it doesn't concern you," he said, a little more emphatically.

I stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what to do. I was still shaking. Joe slid back a little and put his head in his hands. I decided to try to talk to Kat and turned toward my room. I was relieved that Joe didn't try to get up.

I knocked on the door, two soft raps with the back of the knuckle of my middle finger. It seemed kind of stupid to be requesting permission to enter my own room; but when a woman decides a room is hers, would a sane man argue with her?

Kat didn't answer. "I'm coming in," I said, and tried the handle. Fortunately she had left it unlocked.

Kat was laying on my bed with her face buried in my pillow and with my comforter pulled up over her. I sat down sideways on the edge of the bed.

"You okay?" I asked. She didn't say anything. I reached out and put my hand on the comforter where I judged her shoulder to be. She suddenly swatted backhand at me, not seriously, but just violently enough to let me know to leave her alone. I was just about to do exactly that, when she suddenly turned under the comforter toward me and shifted right up against my leg, burying her face against my hip. I rested my hand on her shoulder, and she let it stay. She was crying softly.

I don't know how long we stayed like that. I can't imagine what torture that must have been for Joe to be sitting in the next room hearing absolutely nothing from us. I heard the television come on and was glad for the break in the silence.

"Hey," I said. She didn't respond. "Hey, are you okay?" She nodded her head affirmatively against my hip. "You wanna tell me what happened?" I asked.

She pushed away from me and sat up, facing toward the other side of the room.

"We had a fight," she said.

"Yeah, I could kinda tell," I said.

"He's so stupid."

"I could tell that, too," I said. She let out a disgusted laugh in response.

"You know what he said to me?"

"What?"

"He asked me if I would have a threesome with your roommate."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, can you believe that?"

Actually, I could, in a way. Joe's a regular guy. A regular guy wouldn't be able to hear what went on in Suzanne's room the other night without imagining himself having sex with her. Even when you come to realize you'd probably contract some kind of disease and your common sense overrules your penis, you still have a hard time not imagining it.

"I thought he was joking at first, but he was serious. And he wanted me to ask her!"

"Holy shit," I said. "He wants to have sex with her even after what happened the other night?"

"What do you mean?" Kat seemed confused. "What happened the other night?"

"You know, when we were watching the movie."

"Huh? No! Not Suzanne! I was talking about Emily!"

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, he wanted me to try to get Emily to have a threesome with us."

"Holy shit!"

"Yeah!"

"Why did he--" I was flabbergasted. "What makes him think--?"

"It's one of his fantasies to be with two girls," she said. "We've talked about it before, but I always thought it was just fantasy, you know, dirty talk. I didn't think he was serious about it."

"But why Emily?" I asked.

"You know I usually don't hang around with girls," she said. That's true. She has always seemed to prefer the company of guys. "For some reason he thinks that since Emily and I get along so well, maybe Emily would be into it."

Now that I think about it, I can almost see where he's getting that idea. Almost. Emily and Kat really did hit it off, and I've been quite surprised at how well they get along. They're like long lost sisters, which is really unusual for Kat. Last night Emily was hanging around with us, and we all had had a little too much to drink. We weren't wasted, but things got a little loose, and Emily ended up laying on the end of the couch, with her legs dangling off the end, but her head resting in Kat's lap. There was nothing really sexual about it, unless of course you're Joe, and you're thinking about a threesome anyway.

But still. Emily?

"I told him 'no,' but he kept pestering me about it until I told him to shut up. We got into a fight. I said if he wanted to fuck Emily so bad he oughta just do it and leave me out of it. He said, 'Oh, that would be convenient, wouldn't it?' I asked him what he meant by that, and he accused me of wanting to sleep with you. That's about the time you walked in. I mean, he's the one who brought it up, not me."

"Jesus. What makes him think you and I have something going on?"

"I don't know," she said. "He said he wanted to come along this week because he was worried about me driving by myself. Then he sprung that bullshit on me about keeping me from getting with you. You're my best friend, Max. Why can't he see that?"

We both paused in thought. I heard Joe stirring in the living room, and I thought I heard the front door close.

"Huh," I said, finally realizing that if he was jealous of me, it was probably eating him up that I was in my bedroom alone with his girlfriend. "We probably ought to get back in there."

"Screw him," she said. "Let him think we're fucking our brains out in here. Dumbass."

"No, let's not make this any worse." I got up. "You can stay in here if you want. I'm going."

"I'm just... I don't wanna face him."

"That's okay," I said. "You can stay."

But she didn't actually have anything to worry about. When I went back to the living room, Joe was gone. Kat's car was still out front, but Joe's bag was gone. He freakin' left! I don't know where the hell he went, but he took his shit and left!

"Should I go look for him?" I asked, once I had told Kat.

"No," she said. I could tell she was really mad. "Asshole. He does this. He wants me to go running after him, and I'm not gonna do it." I could tell she really wanted to go find him, but I wasn't about to trespass on her pride by bringing him back myself.

All this just happened about an hour ago. After her crying fit, Kat said she felt "wretched" and wanted to take a shower, so I figured I would take this opportunity to write about it while she's not looking over my shoulder. She still reads the blog, and I'm sure she knows this will all end up in here, but I don't think she'll mind. When I've written about her in the past and asked her how she felt about it, she just said, "Whatever."

We were going to go out for a little while for St. Patty's Day, but this has put sort of a damper on the situation. Lynn and my roommates are all working tonight. It was just going to be me, Kat and Joe. Now Joe's gone and Kat's locked in the bathroom, and I have to work in the morning anyway. I hope this doesn't drag out all night.