Blog Abandoned?

Many people have noticed and commented on the fact that I haven't been writing lately. There have been a combination of factors at play. For one thing, not a whole lot has been going on. Sarah has backed off somewhat, but she still has a tendency toward bitchiness. The live truck now has a transmission leak that hits the exhaust pipe and causes it to smoke. Wendy is still... Wendy. There just haven't been many major developments or stories to tell.

So I've been spending my time reading science fiction novels. I discovered the wonderful creative work of Dan Simmons and read the entire Hyperion series (which in part inspired the previous "Fiction Bastards" post). Then I moved to Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land. Next I think I'll start on some of Phillip Dick's work, since the Scanner Darkly movie is coming out soon. As I've mentioned before, I get most of my reading done for free at Borders, simply sitting in the cafe and reading their books, then reshelving them and hoping that nobody buys the last copy before I come back the next day for another few chapters.

It's a simple existence. I awaken. I read. I go to work. I sleep.

I was trying to fit blogging into that routine as well, but I have been somewhat puzzled by the responses to my writing. First and foremost, I appreciate the advice and encouragement I have received. But for the past couple of months an ugliness has been building that has finally overshadowed the positive feedback and taken away any pleasure I have received from writing.

Some people continue to criticize me for airing my station's dirty laundry. I've had some accuse me of hating women. I've been called a loser for continuing to work here. I've even had people accuse me of making the whole thing up. That last one I understand the least; if people hate me because they think I'm some kind of liar, why do they continue to read it, then send me hateful emails? What does that accomplish?

People have asked me, so I'll answer. Is everything here accurate? Not entirely. I have changed certain details to protect my identity and the identities of my colleagues. Why would I do such a thing? I think it's a perfectly reasonable attempt to protect my privacy, but perhaps I should let this email from one of my readers speak for itself:

Dear 'Max,'

I know that's not your real name. It doesn't matter, because you will be found out soon enough.

You have no business airing your station's dirty laundry. You have no business working in this business. I'm sure you think it's funny. Well now the joke is on you. I figured out where you work. I know who 'Sarah' is. It won't be hard for your nd to figure out who Wendy is. They won't appreciate hearing what you wrote about them.

I figured you would like to know that I just emailed your nd with a link to your blog. Here's what I said.

'Dear [name omitted],

I thought you might like to know that a photog you recently hired is airing your station's dirty laundry on the internet. He has a blog he has used to smear you personally as well as your reporters and producers. He is behaving unprofessionaly and doesn't deserve to represent your institution.

His blog is www.ironshoulder.blogspot.com. I think you may find it interesting reading.

Signed,

A Concerned Citizen'

So how do you like that, 'Max'? Better start making tapes, because your days there are numbered.

Whoa. Someone actually went to the trouble of emailing a news director to get a blogger in trouble. However, it wasn't MY news director he emailed, and I never heard anything more about it. He got the wrong station. Somewhere some ND probably ended up reading my blog and trying to figure out how any of it applied to his station. Hell, maybe he's now one of my loyal readers.

So how much of this is real? Most of it is. Yes, the casket story really happened. Yes, the sheriff really ran into me. Yes, there really was a kid who brought guns to school. The parts that aren't 100% accurate are simply shaded to conceal my identity. I wouldn't try to pass any of this off as newspaper articles, but "Sarah" and "Wendy" are real people. As are "Jake" and "Al." As am I.

I've been asked why people can't find these stories by searching the Internet. Maybe their search skills suck. I do know our website sucks, simply because it's run by one guy who is also our entire "creative services department" and is usually busy making commercials for local mattress dealers. I doubt it has been updated in months. It actually still has a reporter listed on it that no longer works here.

Our local newsrag didn't even cover some of this stuff. Still, I did find some of this material in my own search attempt on Yahoo. If other people can't find it, it's either because I've ommitted or shaded certain details that would help them zero in on it, or maybe they're just too stupid to do a thorough search.

I tried to put a stop to the bullshit by turning on comment moderation here on the blog. Assholes still continued to send me comments. Then they started emailing me. When I ignored them, they posted whiny messages on message boards trying to discredit me. When I refused to respond, they accused me of "running away."

Yet, how the hell can I respond? The only way I can "prove" this is real is to reveal my identity. Great solution. Then the asshole who wrote the message quoted above WILL know who my ND is and will get me fired. It's a catch 22.

This is the only response I intend to make on this issue. If you don't like my blog, don't read it. Go read a book, or watch American Idol, or do whatever the hell it is you people do. I really don't care. I don't make any money off this. I only do it for writing practice and for my own pleasure. Take away the pleasure, and there's no reason to continue.